I know grief all too well. It’s a toxic relationship that I’m still learning how to navigate and heal with.
In 2015 my life was forever changed. Not worse, not better just permanently different.
The thing about grief is that if unchecked it will lie to you. It will tell you you can’t handle the burden of pain. It will convince you that you are alone. You will feel like you have to be sad. Your memories will seem better than your future. You might even think joy is elusive and you don’t even deserve it.
These are lies!
Repeat these affirmations to encourage a positive mindset through difficult experiences:
God is closest to those with broken hearts.
I am encouraged.
I am kind to myself.
Diamonds are made under pressure.
Seeds of new joy will take root in pain and seek sunlight.
I’m still smiling.
I need you to know - trouble really doesn’t last and joy will come.
I’m still smiling.
A lot of us are having a hell of a year. 2020 literally feels like a it’s on fire. And we’re all just walking around getting singed a bit daily. We’re feeling the effects of loss, an excess of news and all these zoom sessions all of the sudden.
Well actually, I’ve already previously experienced my shit show year. So while 2020 is a whirlwind, it will never be my most impactful year. I’m sharing this because I see so many posts, memes, stories from friends in real life and in my mind who are struggling. I honestly feel like I can help.
I can’t lie. It’s stressful sometimes when people who know me and my story have life revelations when a celebrity dies. As if I’m not an “in your face” example of how life can drastically change within a blink of an eye. But then I think maybe it’s because I’m still smiling. I think it’s hard to attach extreme pain and extreme joy but I know they go hand in hand. I know it’s ok to feel conflicting feelings. I can be very hurt and still choose joy.
At one point I felt guilty for smiling. But joy is the necessary antidote for pain. It’s important to always be intentional with creating your happiness because sometimes it will seem like you have nothing to be joyful about. I promise that’s a lie, joy is always accessible. The deeper pain carves the more joy you can contain.
If you need another reason to be joyful despite tragedy — please know the shoe will drop...again. These aren’t the last impactful events you’ll experience. You might as well live life to the fullest now. You only have today.
If you’ve made it this far, I hope you’ll consider choosing happiness above all.